And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
