just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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