There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
