Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
