Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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