i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
