Whod you bang
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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