he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
