I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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