Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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