Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
this just has baby written all over it
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
