I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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