I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
