how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
