I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
how drunk are you?
Several
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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