Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
