If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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