she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
40s are totally the cure
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
