Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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