Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
