I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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