Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
