I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
