Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
