Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
