Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
