o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
COCAINE IS GR8
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