I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
