im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
