She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
