yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
