it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
