You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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