I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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