Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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