hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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