You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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