HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Im part way to drunk.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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