Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
