I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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