Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
