I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
