Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
