it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
