I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
