I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
