A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
