I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
