Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
