Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
